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Friday, April 5th 2013

What the FK: You Better Work (Out)

I like the idea of working out. Really, I do. 

But if I'm being honest, my idea of a contact sport is the Alexander Wang sample sale. Still, I've decided to hit the gym—more for my mood swings than my muscle tone—and I need some motivation. (If you're a faithful FK reader, you know that much like Stacy in The Babysitter's Club, I'm also kind of boy crazy, and it's my understanding that these mysterious places called "gyms" do indeed have lots of guys.)

At first, I thought I'd get inspired to exercise with some cool Flashdance-style hair and makeup—you know, like a high ponytail, smoky eyeliner, and deep cherry lip gloss. But then I remembered some valuable advice I once got from Maria Sharapova: "Never wear makeup during a workout," the tennis star told me in Miami. "Just think about the fact that you wipe your sweat off, and it'll show traces of makeup—never do it!" 

Point taken. Okay fine, actually, I fully plan on wearing waterproof mascara and a swipe of tinted moisturizer, but there's no way I can pull off a smoky eye that's melting down my face.


Since I'm banning kohl and lip gloss from my gym bag, I'll need to pay extra attention to my outfits. It would be nice if the thought of being healthy, active, and blah blah blah actually made me go to Pilates or Soul Cycle. But sadly, I'm unconcerned with my general well-being. My wardrobe, on the other hand, can get me through almost anything, so it seems like some good workout clothes would be a wise investment.

R13 makes a killer pair of leather gym shorts, and Heidi Merrick does a fantastic "vegan leather" version, but unless I'm playing basketball on a Rick Owens runway, I'm not sure I need them. (Ditto for these Sass & Bide sequined shorts, although they'd be fun for a dance party.) These Wildfox Couture spandex leggings are kind of brilliant, because they're called Jazzercise Shorts, but I think my favorite are these hot pink booty shorts from Juicy Couture. (They might be a little too skimpy for my real-life outings, but that's exactly why I like them. Also, one of the reasons I'm making myself exercise more is because Selena Gomez's Spring Breakers body was insane. So maybe if I dress like her character, my abs will adjust accordingly?)

Next it's time to pick a sports bra and the all-important T-shirt. And while I'm a sucker for anything involving My Little Pony, I think this Sex Pistols tee—designed by my friend, the improbably named Prince Peter—might be a nice foil for the candy colored shorts. I'm going to layer it under the Elizabeth and James Warrior Sweatshirt—an optimistic reminder that I can (hopefully) kick butt in a cardio class.

As for sneakers, the brilliant thing about Opening Ceremony's collaboration with Adidas is that their kicks might look crazy, but they're actually really good running shoes. (I know this because I actually do go running sometimes, though I suspect hypnosis or subliminal Facebook ads are involved.)

And for my last bit of fashion-focused motivation: this J Brand lookbook that features ballerinas in mid-rehearsal. They're gorgeous, they're stylish, and they look like they're actually having fun. They're also a good reminder that if being a gym bunny fails, I can always get in a good workout on a weekend dance floor. It's cool, it's aerobic, and I bet I could still wear those booty shorts.


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